My last blog was life transforming …but it seems the arguments were roundabout and disconnected. I am almost feeling like an outcast, someone to be treated with the same indifference as a saucerpan dangling mid-distance between Pluto and Neptune…
But every blogpost is a learning and enlightening experience for me. Writing helps untangle and straighten the mind.
The last blogpost made me realize that axioms (basic assumptions) are not universal, they are individual and personal.
Everyone lives in a unique and unduplicatable world which adheres to their personal set of laws.
The realization took me back to my younger days when I looked upon every successful person as a role model, a possible savior from a life of mediocrity.
I not only imagined myself stepping into their eminent shoes but went to the extent of copying their mannerisms as well. At various points of time, I have been outgoing or introverted, shy or bindaas, stupidly witty or unapologetically “tubelight”, shabbily dressed or overdressed, unbefittingly arrogant or humble-to-a-fault. In my present avatar I have tried to copy Salman Rushdie without success.
I realized that it’s futile to have role models. Though we can and should learn from everyone, we should diligently assemble our own set of axioms. It is counterproductive to follow an ethos without 100% conviction. Suno sabki, karo manki (listen to everyone, but do what your heart says). A good principle followed without conviction gives bad results…
This has a sobering effect. We become less judgmental. Every disagreement is but a difference of axioms. And as mathematics tells, there is no absolute truth.
Cultural differences are nothing but axiomatic differences…
We get along with people who share the same axioms..
I recommend a formal list of personal axioms. From this derive rules of conduct, just as Euclid did when he created the Euclidian geometry. Euclid termed the rules – theorems. Axioms are assumptions and indivisible, but rules can be drilled down to the axioms. Thumb rules will help because for every decision you cannot build up a case from the axioms.
We must modify the axioms and rules as per our experiences. Rules vary from person to person and from time to time (since the axioms also do).
My struggle years ended when I moved out of the sphere of influence of my heroes. I started taking my own decisions. I stepped out of the shadows. Broke free from bad influences. I discovered my personal set of axioms. I discovered that I actually have a mind of my own. I discovered that following others blindly can be a recipe for disaster.
Not just role models, we also tend to copy peers just to “fall in place”…or rivals, so as “not to lose out”…
Being un-adulteratedly “you” is the key to success. Isn’t it the same as doing everything dil se?